It really sucks to be me right now. seriously.
So my GM and my F&B boss (I didn't even realize I had
an actual Boss til just recently) were both set to
go on vacation at the same time. Not a big deal, as it
didn't really affect the bartenders anyway...
or so i thought.
So last thursday i get a call from the GM saying they
had an emergency and i needed to call them...
i shouldn't have called.
They tell me that the breakfast girl has suddenly
quit. They know of my distaste for breakfast, but
asked if I wouldn't mind working a "few" shifts until
they got back.
They said they'd make it worth my while with extra pay
and a parking pass since I'd have to commute so far.
motherfucker.
Being the "team player" (aka: knowing that if i say
no, i may not have a job in the near future and it's
not like i'm having any luck finding a job thusfar)
that I am, i tell them i will help.
So I get a schedule... and instead of the "few" shifts
I think I am getting, I get thirteen 6:30 AM shifts
over 17 days.
and it gets worse. I am still expected to do tea on
weekends (alone) and also do my four bar shifts per
week.
This meant that last Saturday I worked from 6:30 AM
until 10 :30 PM at night!
Not to mention I still had to drive back to Menlo Park
afterwards and then turn around and come back the next
morning.
motherfucker motherfucker.
And this friday (8/5) we have the British night at the
King george, and yes i am working (as well as the AM
shift)... the shitty part is, I never get out of there
til around midnight because it's busy, and they expect
me to be back at work at 6:30AM saturday.
And they won't give me a room. We're sold out.
So today is monday, I worked breakfast, came home took
a nap, am writing you, and will have to leave here
around 3 to get up there and open the bar.
Tomorrow is the same.
I haven't had a good nights sleep in days. I couldn't
sleep Thursday night cause I knew I had to wake up
Friday so early. I have panic attacks in my sleep and
wake up with the night sweats.
I'd gotten might comfy gettin' up around 9 every day!
5AM sucks.
I might add that the breakfast shift is awful. It's
super busy, the people are crabby, we have no busser
or person to do dishes, we have to prepare all the
food ourselves, and even though there are two of us
on, we run our asses off for 4 hours for crap tips.
The lack of sleep only makes everything worse. I find
it hard to look any further than tomorrow, and I'm
really down on myself. A thirty-two year old whose
only source of income is a minimum wage job that
requires 60 miles of driving, no benefits, and no
future.
You'd think that it would inspire me to hunt even
harder for a job (if that is possible- I've been
trying REALLY HARD) but I find the second I go to the
classifieds, I get even more depressed: something to
the extent of "no one will hire me- why would they
want some 30-something loser with no future who works
a food service position and has no real skills to
offer."
So I'm a bit overdramatic. But I'm tired.
And being tired "can play hideous tricks on the brain."
Right now I just really hate my life.
I'm working tonight (Monday) and tomorrow
night as well. Stop by. Just look for the guy with
bags under his eyes who resembles a person you used to
know who once had such optimism for a better life.
He's there somewhere.
