Temple Of The Blog?

Sometimes I wish I weren't so opinionated. I think to myself: "What would it be like to be one of those people who like all kinds of music... the kind of people that don't hate anything?"

And then I realize... if I WERE one of those people, I'd dress crappy, have no personality, and basically just be sitting around waiting to die.

Fuck That.

So as we had PLENTY of time to kill over the weekend driving ten million miles to Coachella, my Miss and I talked A LOT about music. Naturally it was more about bands we hated than bands we liked.

Negativity is a lot more fun.

Anyhow, it was a tough one but I think I've come up with my list of "Top Five Bands I REALLY Hate." In no particular order...

Audioslave

Oh Man... This was "Hate at First Listen." From shitty Soundgarden to terrible Temple of the Dog, the tradition of crap Chris Cornell affiliated bands continues with atrocious Audioslave. I don't know why Chris Cornell continues to try and reinvent himself... it always sounds the same: LIKE SHIT! And Audioslave follows me everywhere. It's to the point now where I won't even go visit my girlfriend at work because I know that I will be forced to endure "Like a Stone" being played on Live 105. It's artists (and I use that term loosely) like Audioslave who have forced me to pack my bags and leave FM for AM Newsradio.

Pearl Jam

Grunge. Godawful Grunge. I hated it from the very beginning. The only good thing to come out of grunge was the fact that it pissed off a lot of British bands like Blur, who were fed up with the overhyped bullshit praise that grunge was receiving. The Brits in turn went on the offensive and the whole Britpop movement took off. Not that anyone who was into Grunge at the time heard it.
Anyway... Pearl Jam. Still don't understand the attraction. You've got this grovely singer who sounds like he's got something in his mouth, a maniacal gleam in his eye, full of rage, hates ticketmaster, and wears a flannel. Big deal. The only thing worse than Pearl Jam and Eddie Vedder were the countless imitators who then came onto the scene ala "Alice in Chains" and "Stone Temple Pilots." I thank God every day that Grunge is over.

Nirvana

Speaking of Grunge... Here's the one who started it all. The one I blame for everything: Kurt Cobain aka "Spokesman For My Generation." Yeah right. Fuck You! What an Asshole. As if some Heroin addicted junkie who blew his head off had anything relevant to say about my life. He should've been singing from the rooftops over the fact that he was making millions writing crap songs. Yeah, I'm sorry he died, it's a shame really. Especially since in death Kurt has become immortal and now I will be forced to listen to Nirvana the rest of my life. Thanks, Kurt. Class act Buddy.

Red Hot Chili Peppers

You know who I hate more than The Red Hot Chili Peppers? People who LIKE The Red Hot Chili Peppers. You know the type: a semi-muscular (fat-in-training) guy who wears a wife beater and a backwards baseball cap over his shaved head... oh and don't forget the baggy jeans with the boxers hanging out and finished off with a pair of gleaming white tennis shoes. Yeah, you know who I'm talking about... and then when "Under The Bridge" comes on they get all emo and say things like: "Aw yeah, this song is the jam, this song is the shit" and proceed to sing along at the top of their voices. Jesus Christ. Go fight a war.

Nickelback

I saved the worst for last. Here's a band with a horse-faced singer that takes elements from all the aforementioned bands and tries (the key word here is "tries") to put an original spin on it. Doesn't work. Instead they end up sounding like a band with a horse-faced singer who are ripping off a bunch of already shitty bands.

And then I find out that someone VERY CLOSE TO ME used to date their creepy label rep or whatever the fuck he does.

Makes me hate them even more and I hope their next album flops.

heehee.

What bands do you hate?

Oh... and don't bother trying to tell me I'm wrong and that Nirvana are great... you won't change my mind.

As a matter of fact, if you LIKE any of the bands I hate, feel free to never read my blog again.

okbye.